Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland. The other woman responds proudly, ‘Yes, I sure am!’ The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?’ The other woman answers, ‘I’m from Dublin, I am.’ The first one responds, ‘So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?’ The other woman says, ‘A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.’ The first one says, ‘Faith, and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.’ The first one gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’ The first woman exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self! About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, ‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’ Michael asks, ‘Why do you say that, Brian?’ Brian answers, ‘The Murphy twins are drunk again.

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1.The season opened today 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. Apparently someone slipped something into their drinks, and they woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, ‘I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the Almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.’ They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words… ‘I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.’ They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one (you knew it was coming), a blonde, is strapped in and says, ‘Well, I’m from the University of Tennessee and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, y’all ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.” The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’