>> A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is
>> ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I’d give anything to
>> sink this putt," the  golfer mumbles to himself. Just then,
>> a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be
>> willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"
>>
>> Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be
>> meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so
>> he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.
>>
>> Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure
>> would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger
>> is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth
>> giving up another fourth of your sex life? Shrugging, the
>> golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.
>>
>> On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.
>> Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves
>> to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving
>> up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer
>> replies, and he makes the eagle.
>>
>> As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger
>> walks alongside him and says, "I haven’t really been fair
>> with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m the Devil, and
>> from this day forward you will have no sex life."
>>
>>
>> "Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I’m Father
>> O’Malley."
>>

Louisiana Highway Department employees stopped at a farm and talked with an
old farmer. The man in charge told the farmer, ‘We need to inspect your farm
for a possible new road.’
The old farmer said, ‘OK, but don’t get out in that pasture over there.’
The Highway Dept. employee flashed out his identification card and said, ‘I
have the authority of the State of Louisiana to go anywhere I want. See this
card? I will go wherever I wish.’
So the old farmer went about his chores. It wasn’t too much later when the
farmer heard loud screams and yelling.
He looked over and saw several Highway Department employees running for
their lives and right behind was the farmer’s huge prize bull. The bull was
madder than a hornet’s nest and was gaining on the Highway employees at
every step.
The old farmer yelled out, ‘Show him your card, Smart Ass…. Show him your
card!!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted ‘Crazy’ then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was ‘Crazy’ and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, ‘What i n the name of good GOD are you doing?’
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, ‘You are clearly stressed out.’ Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.’
I jumped down and walked out of the office…
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, ‘..And where do you think you’re going?!’

(You’re gonna lovethis….)

She said, ‘I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.