The North Carolina Department of Labor claimed a small Monroe, NC farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

Farmer: Well, there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years.  I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

Then there’s the mentally challenged worker.  He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.  He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life.  He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

NCDL employee: That’s the guy I want to talk to…the mentally challenged one.

Farmer: That would be me.